I have a tattoo on my arm of the script lux in tenebris. The phrase translates from Latin to say there is light in the darkness.
It’s easy to forget that it’s there, but today I saw a post on Instagram that reminded me of why I got the tattoo in the first place.
“Without experiencing darkness, you will never be able to truly appreciate the light”
In a time shrouded in shadows, it can be easy to approach each day with blinkers on.
The good things are hard to find at the moment, and frankly, it can be exhausting looking for them.
Right now I am just trying to tick off the days like a to-do list.
However, it is incredibly sad and unfulfilling to live for the future instead of the now.
As a community, our current focus is firmly on these days of freedom that we have penciled in our calendars.
But, as we know all too well, nothing in the future is certain.
It isn’t healthy to reserve certain emotions for days ahead, because postponed happiness, is happiness wasted.
As much as I wish I was an innately positive person, there is a pessimist inside of me that usually controls my narratives.
The ‘what-if’, ‘remember when’, and ‘I wish’ style thoughts fuel my anxiety and fertilize the feelings of emptiness that come with my depression.
I am trying to employ the age-old saying “it’s the ride and not the destination”, but when the journey is this turbulent and the destination seems so sweet, I think we can forgive ourselves for hoping for some shortcuts.
As much as I am sick of forcing myself to find the positives in lockdown, I am becoming better at it with practice.
If you do look hard enough there are always slivers of light even in the darkest of days, so do yourself a favor and spend a bit more time looking for them.
Just like a candle burning in a dark room, often you can only truly appreciate the beauty of a light source when it is burning against a dark backdrop.
We know better days are to come, however, the present is all we have- so let's try and make the bloody most of it.